Allenmore Psychological Associates remains OPEN. During this period of concern and anxiety having access to quality behavioral health care is important and our staff is dedicated to ensuring your behavioral health care needs are met. In the unlikely event that the WA Department of Health directs us to close we will notify patients via telephone on the day of their appointment (similar to our Snow Day policy). If you are an existing patient who is demonstrating symptoms associated with the coronavirus or impacted by related closures (e.g. cannot find day care due to a school closure) and need to cancel we ask that you inform our staff as soon as possible, APA will not charge you for a late cancellation.

Romantic Relationship Concerns

Human beings are relational creatures. We need to be connected to others, and as a result, some of life’s sweetest joys and most bitter pains and disappointments stem from our relationships with other people. Romantic relationships are those relationships that involve primary love relationships with another person similar in age to ourselves. Given the importance of romantic relationships in peoples’ lives, it is not surprising that romantic relationship concerns represent one of the major classes of issues bringing people into counseling at Allenmore Psychological Associates.

What are Romantic Relationship Concerns?

Romantic relationship concerns include a wide range of issues people face including:

  • Developing and maintaining a romantic relationship.
  • Understanding how one’s own personal issues create blocks in relationships.
  • Changing these dysfunctional patterns of behavior which sabotage relationships.
  • Learning to communicate more effectively with one’s partner.
  • Dealing with the upset of being in a romantic relationship.
  • Grieving the loss of a relationship.
  • Learning how to collaborate with your partner in developing a really great and mutually satisfying romantic relationship.


How We Work on Romantic Relationship Concerns in Counseling

Romantic relationship concerns are dealt with in both individual and conjoint counseling. For more comprehensive information about relationship concerns which lead couples to seek counseling, consider reading one of the books recommended in our resources section. Some of the types of romantic relationship concerns that can be focused on in individual counseling involve:

  • Learning more effective communication, emotional self-management and problem solving skills so that you can relate to your partner in a more effective manner.
  • Accepting that you have a pattern of reoccurring unsatisfying relationships and understanding your role in co-creating these types of relationships.
  • Understanding how to change these dysfunctional patterns.
  • Understanding and learning to change habitual ways of thinking, feeling and behaving which create obstacles to the desired quality of relationship.
  • Coping with the loss of a relationship via death of a partner or relationship break-up.
  • Learning about how the rules and dynamics of the family in which you were raised have set up “templates” for how to behave in romantic relationships, and where these “templates” are functional and where they are not.

What are Relationship Counseling Sessions Like?

Conjoint counseling involves sessions where both members of the relationship are present. The focus of this type of counseling is to help each person understand the habitual patterns of interacting that have developed in the relationship. This is often referred to as the dynamics of the relationship, and in conjoint counseling the relationship dynamics are the focus of change. Both partners participate with the counselor in learning about and learning to change these dynamics, especially the dysfunctional ones resulting in pain and conflict. The types of issues that are focused on in conjoint counseling include:

  • Developing the ability to listen and really hear each other’s thoughts, feelings and needs.
  • Learning how to problem solve and develop win-win solutions.
  • In those areas where problems become “stuck”, learning how to understand each other’s needs, how to accommodate differences and how to stay friends in spite of differences.
  • Learning how to agree to disagree at times.
  • Developing the ability to take time-outs when discussions get overheated.
  • Managing conflict in a healthy, constructive, respectful and relationship enhancing manner; in other words, learning to “fight fair.”

Getting Help With Romantic Relationship Concerns

At Allenmore Psychological Associates, we understand the importance that romantic relationships play in each of our lives, as well as the pain and suffering that can result from dysfunctional romantic relationships. We are experienced in working with the wide range of relationships and the different stages of those relationships. Our counselors have experience working with straight, as well as same sex romantic relationships. Through the years we have worked not only with many married couples but also with many cohabitating couples. The world we live in is unpredictable and our relationships affected by many stresses, such as job loss, physical or medical issues affecting one of the partners, and changes or stress in one or both partner’s extended families. When these types of stresses negatively impact the relationship, seeing one of our counselors is often very helpful. At those times that life becomes overwhelming and your romantic relationship is negatively impacted, we are here to help. To see how counseling can be helpful with your romantic relationship concerns, please contact us at (253) 752-7320.

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